Grey in LA, But She Likes It That Way
by SilverStarsAndMoons
Summary: Written for rhcastaway, so the idea and premise for this story are hers, however, the writing is all mine. Pairings include MeredithAddison, MarkCallie, and MerDer. Callie goes to LA to see Addison and Mark and Meredith tag along. COMPLETE.
1. Chapter 1

"She's scaring me."

It's all Cristina says, but the rest of the residents know exactly who she's talking about, and nod emphatically. Izzie leans forward, knocking her salad over slightly, and says thoughtfully, "I don't remember her being this bad when McDreamy was actually with McHot." George nods beside her as he tries to clean up the salad mess, which is starting to fall onto Izzie's scrubs. Alex ignores them both.

"Mer? Hey . . . you okay?" Izzie's voice brings Meredith out of her reverie and she fixes the blonde with glazed eyes. "What? What did I miss?"

"Okay. That's enough, Meredith; this is just getting stupid. He's not even dating anyone else! You're still sleeping with him every night!" Cristina's voice is matter-of-fact with a hint of annoyance in it, and Meredith sighs. She knows it's getting annoying. She knows. What she also knows, and hates, is the fact that every single resident sitting at this table has been living at her house for the last month and she can't fucking have a personal life anymore.

"I need to . . . do something. Something besides look at all of your faces everyday. I need to talk to him," she says, standing up suddenly. A minute later, after watching Derek walk by on the arm of Sydney Heron, she sits down. "I can't do this. Who am I to tell him he can't see other people? We broke up. We're finished. Not a couple. Not anymore."

"Uh, Mer? Sleeping with the guy doesn't exactly give everyone the impression that you're "finished". If you're gonna be finished, then be finished. Don't let him come over anymore. Don't let him pull you into an on-call room. You've only got to blame yourself. You can be stronger." Cristina is certain. She was able to get over Burke; she doesn't realize why other people have to waffle around on relationship issues. Of course, everyone knows that she isn't really over him, but no one would dare to mention it. Do you want to be slit open with a ten-blade?

Meredith sighs, plays with a French fry. "I'm so tired of all of this," she murmurs, and Cristina's hand snakes across the table. "Then do something about it. You're the only one with the power, here."

If that's true, then why does she feel so powerless?

"So, I saw her kissing him in the locker room this morning and I just about lost that expensive room service breakfast I ordered this morning. Why is it that everyone else can effectively disconnect from their ex, but I have to see mine every single day?" Callie is leaning up against her exam room table, arms crossed, sulk on her face. Mark Sloane rolls his eyes.

"You know what I don't get? Why the people in this hospital feel the need to speak to me about their issues. God, this place is one huge drama mill. I get so tired of it. If I wanted to live in Melrose Place, I would move to L.A."

Callie's eyes widen. "What was that last part?"

"God, now people don't even listen anymore. What am I, invisible?"

"Shut up. L.A.?"

"What about L.A.?" Mark stops and realization dawns on his face. "Oh, Callie. When was the last time you talked to her?"

"She's never called since she's been up there." Callie's face is crossed with pain and if possible, she looks even more hurt than before. "I mean, I listened to her through every single issue she ever had with you . . ."

"Thanks . . ."

"Seriously. You treated her like shit and I was there. Now, I need her and she hasn't called." Callie pouts and Mark suddenly wants to put his arms around her. "Have you called her?"

"No."

"Well, then why did you expect her to call you?"

"I don't know. Shut up. I'm going through a hard time." She fiddles with her necklace and Mark gives her the McSteamy smile. "I thought I was helping with that . . ."

"Newsflash, Mark: sex is not always therapeutic. Even if it is good." The last is said in a whisper and Mark grins again. Before he can say anything else, though, Meredith bursts in. "Have you seen Derek?"

Callie looks annoyed. "Why would I have anything to do with your McDreamy?" Meredith ignores her and shoots a desperate look at Mark. "God, Grey. Why would I care where Derek is? You're a mess . . . you need to, I don't know, go to the spa or whatever women do to relax. Maybe hit the tequila."

"Oooh, no more tequila," Meredith shudders. "And what would you know about what women do to relax?"

Mark grins. "More than you would know . . ." Callie smacks him. "Rein in the horniness, bud."

"So, we were discussing Callie's problem with your good friends Izzie and George," says Mark.

"Yeah. God, Callie. I don't even know what to say about that."

"Well, I think if you want to talk to Addison, you should call her," says Mark, turning his gaze back to Callie. "I guess so."

"Well, do it, I haven't got all day." He leans back against the exam table and Callie gives him an odd look. "You're awfully interested in this. Are you sure you're not a girl at heart?"

He smacks her arm playfully and she grimaces back at him. Meredith feels like she's going to be sick. "I'm going to go."

"Actually, Grey, I need you. I've got a crash victim coming in, and I could use your stitching skills," says Mark. "So don't move."

Meredith sighs and leans against the table with the other doctors. Callie dials the number that Addison gave her just before she left. "If you need me, just call, it's my BlackBerry," she had said. Callie hasn't used it because she's been so angry at Addie for taking off and leaving her to deal with it all.

Addison picks up on the third ring. "Callie? Jesus Christ, it's been forever!"

"Well, it's been approximately two months. And you haven't called once," Callie's voice is a little trembly, so she attempts to control it. Addison's voice is light, but flat. "I could say the same about you. How are things?"

"Awful," says Callie, her lips suddenly falling into a pout, tears streaking her face. Mark squeezes her shoulder. "I need you."

"Then why don't you come down? Do you have some vacation saved up?"

"Yeah . . . I can take a week or so. I'll talk to Richard. He knows what's going on. I don't want to get into it here, but . . . I think my marriage is over."

"Oh, Cal." Addison's voice is so sympathetic that Callie sniffles back sobs. Meredith looks distinctly uncomfortable. "Can't I come back?" she mouths to Mark, who gives her a look. "Shut up, Grey."

"I've got plenty of room in my place," Addison is saying. "But I've actually got a patient now, so I've got to run. Let me know when you're going to fly in and I'll pick you up at the airport."

"Addie? I miss you."

"I miss you too. See you soon."

As Callie stuffs her phone into her pocket, Mark opens the door for the patient on the gurney and the three get to work. As Meredith stitches, she tries to push down the feelings of envy. Callie can just leave. She can find someone not connected to the situation at all, someone who will let her cry without making her feel stupid about it. Okay, fine, this is a completely different situation. But still.

Mark notices Meredith's hands shaking a little. "If you don't want to leave this man train-tracked like a fucking railroad yard, I suggest you get ahold of yourself," he hisses, and Meredith straightens her spine and focuses on her work.

Callie's got her ticket to L.A. in her hand, and she's got a frission of excitement in her belly, and a slight finger of nervousness pushing against her heart. The last is because she's not the only one who has a ticket to L.A. Mark Sloane has one, too.

She'd tried to dissuade him from coming. "For one, Addison doesn't want to see you. For two, I need some time with Addison alone, some girl time. I don't need you flashing that smile around the corner at me all the time. For three, you can't stay at her place. She'd never allow it. You're just messing everything up."

"Who says I'm going to see Addison? Maybe I'm going to get away with you," he whispered, leaning over her so that she can smell his cologne. Their lips locked briefly for a second, and then she pulled away. "No, I seriously mean it. You need to just fuck off. I need this time alone."

"Well, that's too bad, because I already have a ticket," he grinned, snapping it up between his fingers. "And like it or not, I am going to wine and dine you on the beach while the moon shines." He coughed a little. "God, that was rough just coming out of my mouth."

Callie laughed. "You really are the most annoying asshole I've ever met."

"Well, that's too bad, because I think you're one of the hottest chicks I've ever met," he whispered, and they found an on-call room to take some time out for awhile. Sex at work? Can be the best you've ever had. Callie knows this, despite the fact that she is technically still married to George.

Now, Callie's instructing the other ortho residents about techniques for a certain knee replacement surgery that they've all recently learned to do. She wants to make sure that she leaves the wing knowing that things are under control. The rest of the residents have their orders and she's comfortable leaving, knowing that Bailey will make a great acting Chief Resident.

Meredith Grey is slumping by, her gait always a little awkward, when Mark stops Callie outside of the cafeteria. "So, what time tonight?"

"The flight goes at seven, and I'm wanting to get there about an hour earlier. Are we going to drive down together?"

Meredith perks her ears up. "Are you going to L.A., Callie?"

Callie turns around and looks surprised, and then remembers that Meredith was there when she called Addison. "Yeah. Should be a good time."

Mark leans across Callie to talk to Meredith. "Maybe you should get away, too, Grey. Go down to talk to Addie about Derek. After all, she's got the experience, too," he laughs, and Callie smacks him. "God, you really love to fuck with the residents, don't you? Sorry, Meredith," she apologizes, and Mer waves her hand.

"Addison's more than just a lady doctor. She's got a lot of experience dealing with men," Mark continues. "Plus, you're looking peaky. A nice tan would do wonders."

"Why are you so interested in me coming? If this is about you getting lucky with the broken resident on some golden sand . . ."

"Relax, Grey, he's with me," Callie smiles. She does consider Meredith, though. "You are pale. And McDreamy could do with you being unavailable. Might make him think. You should come," she decides. "We're leaving tonight at seven."

Meredith is reeling – why would Callie and Mark ask her to come? "Uh, why are you asking me to come? We barely know each other."

"Well, for one," drawls Mark, "I'm getting tired of Derek bitching about you and how you're being elusive, and I'm getting tired of seeing you slump around the halls. I think we all need a little sunshine."

"Yeah," says Callie, smiling. "We do all need a little sunshine!"

Meredith throws up her hands. "Whatever. Fine. I'll meet you at the airport before seven."

Meredith's never traveled first-class. That's partly because she could never afford it, but when she found out that Mark and Callie were traveling first-class, she felt like sitting in coach would just underline the fact that she's younger than both of them and more pathetic, too. So she shelled out the extra dollars, because, hell, why not?

Meredith knows she's not supposed to be on this flight. She left a note for Richard and now she's heartily regretting it. He'll cut her the slack, but she'll be on probation, and she might lose her interns, too. But – have you ever been so desperate that you don't care what the hell you do, as long as you do something? That's where Meredith is. And now she's sitting on a plane to L.A., drinking champagne, and listening to Callie laugh about something that one of her ortho interns did the other day. Mark, like the proverbial metrosexual boy, has a satin mask on over his eyes and is thankfully, asleep.

"So, yeah, interns suck. As I'm sure you know." Callie pauses and takes a sip of her drink. "You didn't have to come if you really didn't want to, you know." Her voice is soft and Meredith looks up.

"Why not. I'm so tired of seeing him with other women. He's trying to scare me back with him and I'm just sick of it." Meredith's eyes well with tears, which Callie doesn't miss. She puts an arm around her. "Sometimes I hate Seattle Grace."

"Sometimes I just hate Seattle."

"Yeah."

They're tired, but that's more because they've all worked a full day and it's seriously not fair that L.A. is so beautiful and bright with sparkling lights. As they make their descent, Mark discreetly gets sick in a vomit bag, which makes both Meredith and Callie laugh their heads off. He finishes and glares at them. "Shut up. So I get a little motion sick and I wanted to drink. The two don't mix. It could happen to anyone."

"No, it only happens to you, as far as I know," says Callie, her eyes wide and innocent. He smacks her shoulder and they all laugh.

Addison is waiting for Callie down in the airport lounge. When they've fetched their bags, they look towards the gate and see a tall, red-haired woman in tan linen pants and a black printed tank top standing against a pole, typing idly into a BlackBerry. Immediately, a message flashes up on Callie's phone: "U here yet?"

Callie messages back: "Look up."

Addison does, and her jaw drops.

Let the games begin.


	2. Chapter 2

"Right."

Addison's drawling voice immediately gets on Meredith's nerves, and she wonders why she even decided to come, when Callie grins and envelopes the red-haired woman in a strong, warm hug. "Hey," she whispers, and Addison kisses her cheek. "Hey. It's really, really great to see you."

"Sorry for the unexpected baggage."

"Yeah, about that . . ." Addison pulls away to regard Meredith and Mark with an expression of barely-concealed surprise and contempt. "Okay, A. What are you doing here?" She points at Mark, who gives her the slow, sexy version of the McSteamy smile and causes Callie to smack him hard on the shoulder. "Quit it."

"Well, I like L.A. as much as the next person and I figured it was time to get out of the rain and come down to see how you're settling in. Richard owed me some vacation." He grins at her again, most annoyingly, and Addison simply raises her chin. "I suppose the whole "I really hoped I'd never see you again" thing didn't even deter you a little bit?"

"Not in the least," he replies, and slings an arm around Callie. "Plus, I wanted to make sure that she got here safely."

Addison turns away from him after shooting Callie a "you'd better explain when we get a chance" look. "Okay, that explains Mark. However, I can't for the life of me figure out why you're here, Grey. Despite the fact that you're white as a ghost. Are you feeling all right?" The last comment is delivered in a slightly softer, less snarky tone, and Meredith drops her head.

"I don't know why I'm here," she mutters, and Callie puts a hand on her shoulder. "She needs to talk to you about Derek. And get a tan. She does look awful."

"Yeah, Grey's been looking rather . . . grey, lately," Mark quips, and everyone simultaneously groans. "If you can't improve the shining silence, baby, shut the hell up," Callie whispers, and Mark laughs.

"Okay, so if everyone's done commenting on my awful appearance," Meredith announces loudly, and Addison nods. "Okay. Well, there's time enough for explanation. I just got off work and I'm starving – I'd guess you all are, too."

All three nod and head for the door. Callie links her arm with Addison's. "Don't worry; they're going to stay at a hotel."

"I figured as much. I wouldn't have Mark Sloan in the house anyway." Her voice is slightly bitter and Callie's heart inwardly sinks. Addison turns to Callie. "So why is he really here?"

"Addie . . ."

"I know you're together. It's not like you haven't made it obvious. But, correct me if I'm wrong, here, Cal . . . I thought you said that you were having trouble with your marriage? Are you the trouble, here?"

"No!" Callie's voice is louder than she intended, and she lowers it as both Meredith and Mark swivel their heads around in surprise. "No. I'm not the problem . . . George is the problem. But I don't want to talk about it right now."

"Fair enough," says Addison neutrally, and they all pile into her Mercedes. "I thought your car was red," says Mark, and Addison rolls her eyes at him. "That car was a rental," she says, and Mark nods. "I always liked the sleek silver number better, anyway."

Addison peels out of the airport parking lot and the silence in the car could be cut with a knife. "So," begins Addison. "Not that I really care, but how's Seattle Grace?"

"A pit of lust and intrigue," quips Mark, and Meredith actually laughs. Addison laughs, too. "So, just the same as when I left, then."

"Pretty much," Meredith murmurs. "A few new interns, including my long-lost half sister."

Callie clucks her tongue in sympathy. "She's not a bad intern, but she's definitely a bit annoying."

"I like her," says Mark, leaning back comfortably in the seat. "She's just like you, Grey. Nervous and stuttery and incredibly hot."

Callie cranes her head back. "Okay. If you're going to do that, you can forget me ever staying over at your hotel room again."

"Oh!" Meredith and Addison wince simultaneously. "Too much information!"

"Is anything ever too much information with Mark?" Callie groans, facing front again. Mark grins and tweaks one of her raven curls. Although no one can see her face but Addison, Callie breaks into a smile. Addison rolls her eyes and pulls up outside of a bustling restaurant. "Let's go. I'm starving."

"And whiny," says Mark. "Although, you've always been whiny when your blood sugar's low."

"And you've always been annoying, well, pretty much at any time," retorts Addison, leading the way into the restaurant. "I only expected Callie, so I invited a few of my work colleagues along." She suddenly stops dead and whirls around to face them. "I swear to God, if any of you say anything stupid about my life in Seattle, I will make sure that I hunt you down and kill you. Or in your case" – pointing at Mark – "I will cut off your balls."

Callie laughs and Meredith looks a little alarmed. Mark simply smiles again. "You mean, you don't want them to find out about our hot, sexy little affair?" he drawls, then shoots a quick look at Callie. "That's fine with me," he finishes hastily.

Addison turns on her heel and walks in, and Meredith follows Callie and Mark like a lost little puppy. She's perfectly aware of how much younger and messier she looks, thank you very much. Everyone in L.A. is dressed to the nines and looking amazing. Girls' hair is smooth and perfectly highlighted; they're wearing cute little dresses and delicious-looking shoes. Men are carefully coiffed and perfectly manicured. They all hold glasses of wine and laugh and talk elegantly, even though the snatches of conversation that Meredith can hear seem to be sort of trivial.

Hell, even Callie and Mark seem to fit in, with Mark's leather jacket and charcoal pants and Callie's edgy, rock-star-chick look and perfect hair. Only Meredith is wearing a pair of faded jeans and a pill-covered grey coat. Her hair, she knows, is all over the place, and she hasn't done her eyebrows in awhile. She tries to huddle more into her coat, even though she's boiling, as Addison stops at a table that's filled with more beautiful people. Great.

"Okay, I'm only going to say this once. That's Violet, Naomi, Pete, Sam, Cooper and Dell. This is Callie, Mark and Meredith. Any questions?" Addison rattles off the names and then sits down next to the attractive black woman, – Naomi? – crossing her legs. Naomi smiles and hands her a glass of red wine. "You deserve this today, girl."

Callie sits down and flashes a smile around at everyone. "I think you're gonna have to reintroduce yourselves. I only got a couple of names." Meredith simply smiles awkwardly and has to be reminded by the young one – Dell? – to take a seat. She does thankfully and Dell hands her the drink list. "Pick your poison," he grins, and her gaze immediately falls on tequila. No, no, no. That can only end in tears. Nevertheless, when Mark flags down the waiter, she orders two shots.

Mark shoots a smile at Naomi and Violet, both of whom exchange an amused glance. "I'm Mark Sloan," he announces. A look of recognition dawns on Naomi's face. "Oh. Oh," she says, looking over at Addison, who shakes her head. "He's with Callie."

Callie nods. "That's right." She looks across at Violet. "So, you guys do co-op medicine? What is co-op medicine?" she asks, unfortunately moving her fingers in air quotations. Out of the corner of her eye, Addison scrubs a hand across her eyes as Naomi looks defensive.

"Actually," says Violet smoothly, "It has to do with having a group of doctors in one practice so that we can offer the best care for our patients. I'm a psychiatrist; Sam here is a sports medicine specialist; Pete is our naturopath, and Cooper is a pediatrician. Addison and Naomi work closely together, since Nae is a fertility specialist. Dell's our resident nurse and he's actually studying to be a midwife." Dell grins sheepishly.

"Don't you miss surgery?" Meredith blurts at Addison, and then wishes that she hadn't spoken. She downs the tequila and feels something loosen inside her. Addison opens her mouth to answer, but Cooper cuts her off. "She still gets her share of surgery. She did a complicated C-section today."

Addison smiles at Cooper. "Cooper helped me out, too. Cheers," she says, and the company clinks glasses. Naomi leans forward, her face confrontational. "What exactly do you do?" she asks Callie directly, who visibly stiffens under her gaze.

"I'm an ortho surgeon. Mark is a plastic surgeon," she answers, her voice cold. Sam cracks his fingers. "Plenty of room for one of those down here," he says, his voice sonorous. "Ever thought of relocating?"

"If I went anywhere, I'd go back to New York. This place is too . . . fake for me," retorts Mark, and the two glare at each other for a moment until Dell breaks the stand-off by asking Meredith, "What kind of surgeon are you?"

Meredith blushes. "I'm not sure what I want to specialize in, yet." Callie cuts in, "She's a first-year resident."

Everyone smiles. "Ahh, fresh meat!" exclaims Naomi. "How's residency? Still hellish?"

"Yeah," Meredith murmurs, and downs her second shot. Dell, without being asked, orders her two more. Pete, who has been quiet up until now, asks Callie, "Ortho? What's that like?"

Callie grins. "What it sounds like. Lots of breaking bones, lots of physical strength." She stretches her arms and Pete's eyes widen at her flexing muscles. "I see."

Mark slings his arm around Callie and looks at Pete challengingly. "Isn't herbal medicine something that witch doctors do?" he drawls, and Addison quickly shoots the rest of her wine and flags down the waiter. "I think we'd like to order, please," she says hastily, and Violet nods in assent.

The food arrives rather quickly; by this point Meredith has had at least six shots of tequila on an empty stomach and is starting to feel her eyes disconnect from her head. Nevertheless, she's kind of enjoying the meal, now. Especially since Dell keeps the alcohol coming.

Everyone picks at sushi or salads or some other kind of Californian food. Mark just rolls his eyes at them and digs into a huge New York-style steak, complete with all the trimmings. Callie goes for the paella. "Not as good as the stuff I make," she says, "but it'll do."

Pete is looking distastefully at Mark's steak. "Do you know how many toxins –"

"Pete!" Addison runs a hand through her red hair, sighs. "Come on, guys. Let's at least try to be civil? Please?" She's starting to think that bringing them all together is an extremely bad idea and Naomi's hand on her arm isn't helping. "You know what? I'm going to go to the bathroom." She stands up and without really knowing why, Meredith follows suit. "I'm going, too. Me, too," she slurs a bit, and Callie puts a hand under her arm. "You okay there, Grey?"

"Yeah, just fine." She swings an arm out. "It's a great night!"

Addison rolls her eyes. "Come on, Grey."

They weave in and out through tables and finally make it to the elegant washroom door. Meredith tries to push it open and then realizes that it's a pull door. "Oops," she giggles, and Addison shoots her a strange look. "Are you okay?"

They make it in and Meredith suddenly shakes her head. "No." She lunges towards the toilet and throws up, messily and copiously and disgustingly, which makes it extra-embarrassing, because Addison is elegant and beautiful, and she has to lean down and hold Meredith's hair back. "Okay," she's saying. "Just take it easy."

Meredith finishes, flushes the toilet. "I'm sorry," she says, her face crumpling a little. "That was really, really gross. I'm really sorry," she reiterates, and Addison shakes her head. "Don't mention it."

She goes to wash her hands and Meredith follows, realizing that she looks absolutely disgusting, now. Addison takes one look at her and shakes her head. "You can't go out there looking like that, Grey." She takes her brush from her purse and combs Meredith's hair. "That's at least a little better."

"I can't go back out there," says Meredith consideringly. "They already hate me. And I think . . ." She doesn't even get the words out before leaning forward to vomit into the sink. Addison looks properly repulsed, but she holds her hair back again and turns on the water. "Ew."

When Meredith finishes, she shoots one look at Addison and starts to cry. "I'm really, really sorry," she says, and Addison rolls her eyes in annoyance. "Grey, stop apologizing! It's not like I've never dealt with drunk people before." She smooths Meredith's hair back. "Can you make it out to the car?"

"I think so," Meredith sniffles and wipes at her eyes and nose with her hand. Addison hands her a Kleenex. "Come on, Meredith." Her voice is gentle and Meredith looks up to meet Addison's blue eyes. "I'll take you home."

"I don't even know where I'm staying," Meredith sniffles, and Addison puts an arm around her shoulder. "You can stay with me tonight. I don't think you're in any shape to go to a hotel."

"But you hate me," Meredith whimpers. "I can't stay with someone who hates me."

"I don't hate you, for one. For another, you've really got no other choice, unless you'd like me to leave you in the alley outside of this restaurant. Stay here and I'll tell the others that you're not feeling well."

Meredith nods and Addison leaves her beside the toilet. She stalks out and back to the table. "So, our little resident isn't well, so I've got to take her home," she announces, and Naomi wrinkles her nose. "Babysitting sure sucks, Addie."

"Is she okay?" Callie feels sort of responsible, since she brought Meredith with them. Mark simply looks bored. "Who cares? Grey's a big girl, Addison. You don't have to take responsibility. I'll make sure she gets back to the hotel okay."

"No, I'd feel bad leaving her out in the rain, so to speak. I'll take her home tonight – after this, you guys take over babysitting duty," says Addison, and points at Callie and Mark. "Night, all."

"Goodnight, Addie," everyone choruses, and Callie gets up. "I'll come with you."

"Yeah, okay." Mark looks alarmed. "Are we calling it a night?"

"You wanted to come," Callie reminds him. "I told you I'd be hanging out with Addison."

Mark grimaces and Pete looks amused. "Come on, buddy. Cooper, Sam, Dell and I are going to the bar beside the practice. You can come with us."

"Thrilling," grumbles Mark, but he doesn't refuse. "Behave yourself," warns Callie, and cracks her knuckles. "Or these will be your balls."

"Yes, ma'am!"

Callie and Addison go back into the bathroom, where Meredith is slumped beside the toilet. From the looks of things, she's been having a great conversation with the porcelain god. "Why do I drink?" she moans, and Callie rolls her eyes. "Are you puked out?"

"I think so." Meredith groans and scrubs a hand across her eyes, and Callie hauls her to her feet. "Okay. Pee, and we'll go."

"What?"

"Pee, Grey. I've seen you drunk too many times to know that when you'll have to go, it'll be too late."

"Ew!" Addison shoots a disbelieving look at Callie, who shrugs back as Meredith wails, "That was one time, Callie!"

As they wait for Meredith to finish up, Addison leans against the wall and examines her nails. "I've got white wine at home. Do we need anything else?"

"No, that works for me. We'll throw this one in bed and then catch up."

Addison grins. "Yeah, you've got a lot of explaining to do, missy." She punches Callie's shoulder playfully and Callie grins.

They finally all make it out to the car and Addison drives home, stopping once to let Meredith out to vomit. "Grey, honestly. Next time, eat before you drink!" Callie's annoyed and Addison has to get out to make sure Meredith doesn't fall off the side of the road into the ditch.

As soon as they get in, Addison puts a hand on Meredith's back and points her towards the stairs. "This way." However, Meredith doesn't make it very far before she slumps to the ground. "Dammit! Callie!"

Between the two of them, they manage to carry Meredith upstairs and plop her unceremoniously on the spare bed. "You might have to sleep with me tonight, but whatever," says Addison. "Where's the trash can?"

They set it up beside Meredith's bed and leave. Within three minutes, they're outside, overlooking Addison's stretch of beach, watching the moon get caught in pieces on the waves. "Wow. I can really see why you're so happy here." Callie's voice is soft, and Addison sips from her glass of wine.

"What's really going on here, Cal? Because you tell me that you and George are having marital problems, yet you're with Mark. And despite the fact that you know our history, you bring him down here anyway."

Addison's voice is bitter, and Callie's heart sinks a little. "I didn't really want you to find out that way. I'm not doing it to hurt you. He was just . . . there, when George was fucking Izzie Stevens."

"So your suspicions were correct, then."

"Yeah. He finally admitted it about three weeks ago. We've been in divorce proceedings ever since, and dammit, Addie, I needed you. Just when I found out, you had gone, and you didn't tell anyone you were leaving! I had to find out from one of your gynie interns! You could have told me." Callie has to visibly resume control of herself and Addison reaches out, puts a hand on her knee.

"I didn't do it to piss you off. I didn't do it to piss anyone off. I just needed to leave, because of everything." Addison realizes it's a lame answer, but she doesn't know how else to articulate it. Alex, Mark, the end of her relationship with Derek . . . it was all about a fresh start.

"I just would have appreciated you telling me. I felt abandoned by the one person who always listened to me."

"I'm sorry."

There's silence, and then, "So, when did you and Mark get together?"

"He started coming around shortly after it got around the hospital that George was a cheating asshole."

"Ah."

Then, "Why is Meredith Grey here?"

"Derek and she supposedly broke up. However, they're still sleeping together. And he's rubbing the fact that they're supposed to be seeing other people in her face."

"A fresh start, in other words?"

"Yeah."

Addison gets up. "I'm going to go and check on her. I'm a little worried about her choking on her own vomit. God, trust her to make a great first impression in front of my work colleagues."

Callie nods and swirls her wine. Addison heads up the stairs to find Meredith asleep on her side, her arms stretched across the bed. She looks so tiny in the king-size bed, almost buried under the covers. Addison pushes back the dark-blonde hair, puts her hand on Meredith's back, feels her breathing. Meredith snores a little and Addison nods. 

When she goes downstairs again, Callie is loading the glasses into the dishwasher. "I'm really tired, Addie. I've been up for about forty-eight hours straight."

"Yeah, I don't blame you. Come on."

When they're settled in bed and Callie's asleep, Addison lies on her back and thinks over the whole night. She cringes when she remembers Mark and Callie versus the rest of the Oceanside staff, and pushes her face into the pillow when she remembers that Mark is still hanging out with the guys. God, he'd better not say anything.

A minute later, she hears Meredith begin to gag and fearing for her sheets, she gets up and goes across the hall. Meredith is mostly making it into the garbage – Addison's just glad that she has hardwood floors. "Wonderful," she mutters and Meredith looks up. "Oh, God."

"It's okay. Come on." Addison helps her out of bed and takes off her pants and socks, leaving her in just her tank top. She puts a towel under the garbage can and then helps Meredith back into bed. She almost leaves, but Meredith shivers and she realizes that this could be a really long night. She closes the door and decides to stay, if only to protect her sheets and floor.

"I should never drink," Meredith murmurs, and Addison crawls into bed next to her. "No, you definitely shouldn't."

"I'm really, really sorry, Addison."

"Stop apologizing, Grey." Addison turns over in bed and faces the opposite wall. In another moment, she feels Meredith turn over, too, and an arm snakes across Addison's torso. Addison is surprised, but Meredith is drunk and cold and tiny, so she doesn't really think much of it.

"Good night."

"Night, Grey."


	3. Chapter 3

The light's too bright this morning, and Meredith throws a pale hand over her eyes. "Oh, God."

Opening her eyes feels like torture. Remember that scene in "A Clockwork Orange" when Alex gets his eyes held open by those crazy metal things? That's what this feels like. Blinking is painful. Her eyes stream when they're assaulted by the light, even if the light is behind some fashionable neutral curtains. Even through her pain, Meredith appreciates Addison's taste . . . oh. Wait. Addison.

She turns as quickly as she can without vomiting to her right side. There's no red hair streaming over the pillow; no pretty face looking back at her. In fact, that side of the bed is so smooth; it looks like no one slept there at all. Meredith's brow furrows in confusion as she tries to put together the pieces of last night. Tequila. Vomiting in the fancy bathroom. Addison's house, and then Addison climbing into bed with her. It happened, right?

She puts a hand up to her eyes and rubs them roughly, letting out a long groan. Drinking is stupid. Then why, why, does it seem so good at the time?

Addison twirls a piece of watermelon on her fork. "Yeah, she pretty much snored all night. I have no idea how someone that small can make such a loud noise. I mean, Derek snored a little, but it was never like that. That goes beyond sawing wood. That's clear-cutting a whole damn forest!"

Callie laughs, almost spitting her mango juice across the counter. "I still don't know why you decided to sleep beside her!" She's careful not to say "sleep with her", since Addison gets tetchy about certain expressions, and that's one of them.

"Well, she looked so . . . little. And frail and waifish. And I guess I just felt like she needed protecting. Even if it is Grey. Even if she is dating my ex-husband."

"She's not dating him now."

"See, this is what I don't get. They were all kissy-kissy happily-ever-after when I left Seattle. Now they're full of dark and twisty turmoil?"

"From what I can tell, he's playing mind games with her. He told her that he loved her and wanted to be with her, but he knows she's afraid of commitment. I think an ultimatum was actually given, so she ran. And then they started seeing each other at night again . . . and things just went downhill from there. That's just hospital gossip, though. I couldn't tell you the detailed version."

Addison sighs and sips her green smoothie. "Derek knows what he wants. When he doesn't get it, he plays the manipulation game. Our marriage was constantly full of guilt-tripping and fighting. In a way, you know? Meredith is the perfect partner for him. She's very easily manipulated."

"She's not, actually. She's got a core of steel." Callie smiles and pops another piece of scrambled egg into her mouth. "Derek's just at his wits' end with her, I think. The whole nearly-dying thing really shook him."

"Nothing makes you appreciate your significant other than a near-death experience." Addison gets up to pour herself a coffee. "You know, he never felt that way about me. He never, ever cared that much."

"Well, it's good and bad, I guess. George never felt that way about me, either." Callie looks down at her half-eaten breakfast and Addison pulls out of her angst enough to recognize her good friend's. "Oh, sweetie." She rubs Callie's shoulders.

Meredith stumbles into the kitchen and looks around blankly. "Coffee?"

"Good morning, Dr. Grey." Each word is heavy with satire as it falls from Addison's lips, and she tries to adjust her tone. "Are you feeling better?"

"Well . . . no." Meredith flops down at Addison's breakfast bar. "I'm really, really sorry."

"Grey! What have I told you about apologizing?" Dammit! Meredith's ruining Addison's morning already. She runs a hand through her red hair and pours Meredith a cup of coffee. "You're under a lot of stress, or so Callie tells me. Just move on. Pretend it didn't happen."

Callie gets up. "Well, what's on the schedule for today? Hot sun, golden sand, lots of swimming and surfing?"

"I burn in the sun. Sorry, sweetie. I'm actually off to work." Addison throws a grin at Callie. "Do you guys want to observe co-op medicine?"

"Can we?" Callie looks doubtful. "Personally, at this moment I'm a little more concerned about Mark. He hasn't called."

"That's Mark." Addison doesn't look fazed. "If he's not in someone else's bed, I'll be surprised. As to what we'll do today - Meredith, you met Violet last night, but I think you might feel better if you spoke to her about all of these issues you're having. I can sit in on your session, if you want."

"You want me to see a shrink?" Meredith looks confused until it dawns on her that getting drunk and passing out in your ex-boyfriend's ex-wife's house isn't exactly indicative of sanity. She gets up and heads for the stairs. "I'm going to take a shower, then."

Callie looks annoyed. "That was mean."

"Sweetie . . . I'm just concerned. He's not that great of a guy. Leopards don't change their spots, or whatever. You know what I mean."

"Why can't you just let me be happy? You know, you're supportive of everyone until you feel like they've stepped into your territory. Yeah, you've got a history. Fine. But you know what? You left, Addison. You finished with him and you left, and now he's helping me pick up my pieces, and you're jealous because in the back of your head, you felt like you could always go back."

Addison is stunned. "What? Callie –"

"Seriously. You know it's true." Callie's hands are on her hips and Addison suddenly looks down, ashamed. "Maybe it is true. I've never thought of it that way."

Callie's face softens. "You've got to move on."

The shower slams on upstairs and Addison raises her eyes. "Yeah. That seems to be the theme today."

Mark wakes up at Pete's place, rolling over to squint at the light. "Shit."

Pete walks out from the bathroom and grins wickedly. "When you said you could drink me under the table, I thought you were kidding."

"I don't kid." Mark gets up and stretches, feeling his back pop. "Oh, God. What time is it? Did I remember to call Callie?"

"It's 8:30 AM, and I have no idea. When I carted you back here, you were cross-eyed and barely walking, dude."

Mark curses and pushes past Pete to the shower. "I'll be out in ten minutes. You're going to drive me to Addison's place."

"Thought Addison didn't want you near her place."

"Addison doesn't have a choice. She can be pretty prickly, but Callie's lethal when she's angry."

Pete laughs. "You sure know how to pick 'em."

Mark pokes his head back out. "I sure do. Beautiful, fiery, strong and excellent in bed. But piss them off and you're done."

Addison pulls into the Oceanside parking lot. "Okay. Today, you can observe what we do. I'm technically not allowed to really bring people here, but you're both doctors and you can write it off as a medical teaching thing. Confidentiality, blah blah blah, but the big thing? Don't piss off my coworkers. Please. They have different protocol. Just . . . go with it. It's a learning experience."

Callie grins. "A learning experience. Got it."

"And I get to be shrinked up." Meredith's voice is glum and Addison rolls her eyes. "You admit that you don't know why you came down here. I'm giving you a reason." She belatedly remembers Meredith's tiny arm around her waist last night and softens. "She'll help you, Meredith."

When the three women walk into the practice, Callie and Meredith are struck by how quiet and calm it seems. Elevator music is piping through the waiting room, where people are quietly reading magazines and chatting pleasantly. Dell is manning the desk and smiling here at an older man wanting to see Sam; there at a pregnant lady coming to see Addison. He palms files and answers the phone efficiently. Within a second, Addison has her files for the day with her phone messages clipped to the top.

"Different from the nurses, huh, Grey?" Callie whispers, and Meredith can only nod. The nurses shove a mess of charts at you with no rhyme or reason. They follow Addison to the office at the back of the practice and wait quietly as Addison flips through her files. "Okay. We've got our morning meeting, so come on and grab some coffee. You know everyone, so we can get right to business."

All of the doctors are sitting around the table, and to Callie's surprise, so is Mark. "There you are!" she hisses, sliding into the chair beside him. "Where the HELL were you last night?"

Mark shoots a furtive look across the table, where Cooper seems inordinately interested in their conversation. At a glare from Mark, Cooper finally averts his eyes. "I'm sorry. I got a little drunk last night and slept on Pete's couch."

Callie's face doesn't change. "You could have called."

Mark sighs. "Well, yeah, except for one thing."

"I can't imagine any excuse that would validate you right now, but what?"

Pete leans across Mark. "He lost his phone. I think that blonde from the bar took it."

"What blonde from what bar?" Callie's voice is rising and Addison leans across her. "Keep. It. Down. This is a place of business."

"Well, mostly." Violet looks interested. "You met a blonde at a bar, even though you're with Callie?"

Naomi puts a hand over her eyes. "Focus, people. Please. Sam!" she exclaims at the good-looking doctor as he comes in. "You're late!"

"I'm not that late. Ah, visitors." He smiles and sits down in a fluid motion. "Observing today?"

"They're with me." Addison sighs. "Violet, Meredith here would like to see you at some point today. Do you have an opening?"

"Right after this meeting." Violet looks concerned and curious, but she doesn't say anything more. Meredith sighs. "Thanks."

The meeting passes quickly and before she knows it, Meredith is sitting on Violet's too-soft couch. Addison sits at the other end, her legs crossed. Violet perches on the chair in front of Meredith.

"Now, this is a bit unusual – I don't normally treat people that I know, but I need to ask a few questions to get an idea of why you feel the need for therapy, Meredith."

"I don't. Addison made me come." The words come out before she can stop them, but Meredith shakes her head, anyway. "I don't even know why I'm here."

"She's dating my ex-husband." Addison's voice is flat. Violet raises her eyebrows. "So, you and Addison are here to work out some differences?"

"No. We're fine." Addison interrupts, but Meredith shakes her head. "Like I said, Violet. I don't really know what to do with psych, but Addison thought I should see you."

"Well, are you having relationship problems?"

Meredith sighs. "In a way. It's not really a relationship, anymore. Not since I almost died."

"You almost died?" Violet's professional veneer is cracking a bit with her confusion. "How did that happen?"

"I nearly drowned at a big ferry crash. I wasn't on the ferry, I got knocked into the water. My mother and I . . . well, we'd had some problems, and I wasn't feeling great, so I just . . . didn't swim, I guess."

"And Derek had to save you," Addison puts in gently. Meredith nods. "He's resented me for it. Then he told me that I just wasn't committing. And he asked me to marry him, in a roundabout, sort of challenging way. And I can't."

"You can't marry him?" Violet's voice is gentle and Meredith feels tears come to her eyes.

"No. I can't . . . do what he wants. I can't be Addison." That statement's a surprise, and both Addison and Meredith's eyes widen. "Not that he wants me to be Addison. But he does. He wants me to commit, and be the little woman at home, and have children. And he keeps giving me these mixed signals."

Addison is leaning forward; Violet looks enthralled. "What kind of mixed signals?"

"We'll sleep together, but he wants to date other people. He tells me that he meets a woman in the bar and it's the highlight of his day, but that I shouldn't be worried. He's trying to guilt me into getting back with him and it's working, and my mother just died, and I'm freaking fragile, dammit!" Meredith's cheeks are wet and Addison puts her hand on her knee. "Okay, okay. Slow down."

Violet writes a few things on her pad. "Do you need him?"

"What does that mean?" Meredith wipes at her eyes. "Of course, I need him. I need someone. I have abandonment issues – my father – my mother never was proud of me – I have issues. Just issues. And he knows it and he still fucks around with me."

"Derek doesn't understand issues." Addison's voice is soft. "He's a great guy, but he's focused on his dreams of how his life should go. He thinks that everything can be fixed by rerouting wires in the brain."

"He holds me and then lets me go, and I might be drowning, but he refuses to save me."

Violet nods at Addison, who is longing to give Meredith a hug right now. "He's absent. He was always absent."

"But he's ultimately a good person." Both repeat this, and they laugh. Without really noticing it, Meredith sinks more into the couch and closer to Addison, whose warmth is comforting.

"Meredith. What do you feel he wants from you?"

"He wants . . . he wants me to be me, but me the way he wants me to be."

"Then he doesn't want you to be you." Addison's voice is matter-of-fact. Meredith suddenly bursts into tears. "I don't know how to be the person he wants. I'm afraid of choosing the wrong napkin for a dinner party. Every choice I make backfires on me somehow. Everyone always leaves."

Addison cuddles Meredith against her chest. "That's what we'll work out." Violet nods.

"We've got to help you to move on."

"Moving on. Yeah." Meredith wipes her eyes. "I just thought Addison would know what to do."

"Addison's a good person to go to for help." Violet smiles at the red-headed doctor, who smiles back.

"Okay. Let's start this, one step at a time. Okay?"

Meredith nods and feels Addison's arms tighten supportively around her. "Okay."


	4. Chapter 4

The conference room table is quiet as Naomi, Cooper and Pete sit back and watch the show. They try to be professional doctors; they try to maintain a place of business, but when a couple is having an out and out bust-up right in front of you, well, why not sit back with some popcorn and back your winner?

"Okay, so you go out with the guys. Some chick steals your phone, and you don't see anything wrong with this?"

"Callie, come on. It's not like I did anything with her."

"How would I know if you did? I wasn't there to watch you, and he" – throwing a finger at Pete – "wouldn't have stopped you. Probably would have sat there with a smirk on his face, just like he is right now." Callie rolls up her sleeves. "Buddy, you'd better be so glad that I don't have my ortho tools on me right now –"

"Okay, Callie, whoa!" Naomi practically jumps across the table to stop Callie from lashing out at Pete. "Mark, for God's sake. If your girlfriend is this jealous, why would you ever bother to go out with her permission? And Callie, if you're this worried about him going out, why didn't you go with him?"

"Because what would I have done, Naomi? Not that this is any of your business, but I wanted to see Addison, because, you know, I haven't seen her in a few months. I can't be babysitting Mark. He knows that when he's with me, he's got to commit." Callie crosses her arms and pouts a little bit. "I'm actually really disappointed. I thought you cared about me."

"Oh, come on. Don't guilt trip the guy!" Cooper protests, and gets whapped in the arm by Naomi. "Shut. Up. Cooper!"

Mark sighs. "I lost my phone because I think that chick stole it. I wasn't doing anything with her. All I did was drink beer and listen to Pete ramble on about alternative medicine. Right, Pete?"

"Sure you did, buddy." Pete nods seriously and takes a sip of his coffee. Mark moans. "Come on, man. Help me, here."

"I believe you didn't sleep with her. I don't believe you didn't flirt with her, because I know you, Mark Sloan." Callie sighs. "Next time you go out, keep ahold of your phone, okay? Don't let some whore steal it from you. Now we have to buy you a new phone. As if I didn't have enough to do with my day." She rises and pulls on his hand. "Let's go."

Naomi looks amused. "Do you know where you're going?"

"Nope, but as punishment, Mark can drive to every mall in the vicinity until we find the exact model of phone that he lost to that bimbo." Callie smiles sweetly and gives him a push. "Let's go, bucko."

Mark shoots Pete and Cooper one last pained look and walks out the door, practically frog-marched by Callie. As the door closes behind the couple, Cooper shakes his head slowly. "Wow."

Naomi laughs. "I like her."

Pete murmurs, "You would," and earns himself a smack on the arm. "Hey. At least she's willing to stand up to Mark. From what I've heard about him, he needs a woman like that to keep him in line." Naomi twirls a straw in her hand. "Don't think Addison's entirely pleased about it."

"Why would she feel one way or another about it?" Pete's voice is defensive, and Naomi shoots him a look. "Calm down there, tiger."

"They've got a long history," says Violet, coming in on the tail end of the conversation and going straight to the coffeepot. "That was one hell of a therapy session. I've treated a lot of people and I've never met someone with that many issues."

"Wait, who are we talking about here?" Cooper looks confused. "I know Addison has issues, but I don't know if this violates patient-confidentiality agreement for you to tell us about them. Although, I am curious. Very curious." He looks raptly at Violet, who rolls her eyes. "Not Addison."

"Oh." Cooper looks disappointed and Violet ignores him to appeal to Pete. "I want you to see Meredith."

"Why? I don't have an herb that cures heartbreak." Pete looks inordinately pleased with himself and Violet sighs. "Stop being an ass and just see her, please."

Pete nods. "I've got an open spot right now. Send her in." He gets up and goes out the door, and Cooper follows him out. "Mrs. Oliver's baby's appointment's in ten minutes."

Naomi and Violet exchange amused glances. "So the little resident is fucked up?"

"To the point of being almost too fucked up to live." Violet sighs and flops in a chair. "She's so incredibly depressed and anxious and nervous, it's like trying to treat an injured deer. She doesn't relax. She sits on the edge of her seat and she trembles; she has this tic that's really distracting. Even with Addison there, she barely relaxed. Addison had to practically hold her down. It's like she expects to be hit at any moment, but she's never been physically abused, that I can tell."

"Wait – Addison sat in there on the whole session?"

"Yeah. She was really helpful, actually. Meredith actually relaxed a bit. I think it's because Addison's been there, you know. She was married to this Derek for years."

"And it was no cakewalk, let me tell you. They were great at pretending; they were the poster couple in the Sears catalog, but Addison was needy and Derek was absent, and it was no wonder that she turned to Mark."

"Yeah, that was an interesting twist, especially with Callie now dating Mark. There's a lot of repressed jealousy, there." Violet is aware that they're completely violating the doctor-patient confidentiality agreement, but she can't resist gossiping, and she knows the conversation will never leave the conference room. Naomi's brow is furrowed; she's deep in thought about something and Violet knows the look. "What?"

"How was Addison in there? Was she all gentle and caring?"

"Well, Meredith was crying, almost hyperventilating. Wouldn't you be?"

Naomi smacks her forehead. "Okay, I've got to talk to Addison."

"Nae, what the hell?"

"Nothing, Violet. I'll talk to you later."

Addison and Meredith are still sitting on Violet's couch, because Meredith isn't sure she can face the Oceanside gang in the state she's in. Addison is stroking her hair. "I was more of a mess than you following my first therapy session after Derek," she remarks, and Meredith nods. "But at least you had a reason to be. He was cheating on you, in a way."

She sniffles and brushes her hands across her eyes, like a child. Addison reaches over and grabs a Kleenex. "Come on, Grey. At least act like you're more than ten years old," she chides, but her voice is gentle and Meredith actually laughs a little through her sobs.

"Why are you doing this?"

Addison tightens her arms around Meredith and considers. "I don't know. I can't stand to see you all alone and struggling."

"This is a taking-care-of-me thing?"

"Sort of. It's more of an I-can't-stand-the-pain thing."

Meredith nods. "I guess I didn't realize how much my relationship with Derek damaged me. And he must be so damaged, too. I'm really fucked up." Her voice breaks and Addison presses her lips to the top of Meredith's head, inhaling the scent of her hair. "We're all fucked up."

Meredith twists back to look Addison directly in her eyes. Addison is a little taken aback by the intensity of her expression, but she holds Meredith's gaze, admiring the silver flecks in the girl's clear blue eyes. Meredith's eyes flutter for a moment, then Addison is surprised to feel Meredith's lips on her own.

Addison's first thought is to pull away. Meredith's MO is to sleep with anyone who shows her the least bit of comfort. She realizes, however, that if she does that, Meredith will be damaged more by the rejection. Anyway, it's not like she doesn't feel attraction for the poor waifish resident. Meredith is good-looking, in her way. She's small and bony, but she has nicely-curved hips and beautiful eyes. And Addison is ready to throw caution to the wind – she needs a good kiss, and whatever else Meredith is, she's definitely a good kisser.

When they break apart, there are still tears on Meredith's cheeks and Addison still has her arms wrapped around the bony body. Meredith gets up and gives herself a little shake, as if the kiss has awakened her from some dream. When she and Addie leave the room, Meredith's hand is firmly clinging to Addison's soft one.

Naomi pulls Addison aside as Meredith goes into Pete's exam room to be "herbed up", as she puts it. "What are you doing?"

Addison detaches her arm from Nae's iron grip. "Naomi! You're hurting me!"

"I saw you. You're doing it again, and you can't be Dr. Addison Who Saves the World this time. That girl is not for you."

"How do you even know? You don't know her at all!"

"Addison. She's clinging because she's lost. Do you want to be the one who saves her? Seriously?"

Addison stares at Naomi, realizing that she has a point. "Nae . . ."

"Addison. She will cling and when you break away, she will fall. Just consider what you're doing."

Addison sighs and runs a hand through her hair. "Okay."

"Okay."

That night, Callie, Meredith and Addison are sprawled on Addison's couch, drinking mojitos and complaining about men. "Stupid Mark," Callie grouses. "I can't believe he'd let some blonde bimbo steal his phone."

Meredith laughs, a tinkling silvery laugh that makes both Addison and Callie look up. "Oh, McSteamy." She sips from her drink, balled up on the couch, under one of Addison's nubbly soft blankets, and laughs again, a little drunkenly. "He's always flirting."

"I know. I punished him, though." Callie grins evilly and Meredith giggles. Addison rolls her eyes. "Did you make him go shopping? He hates that."

"Oh, I sure did!" Callie waves her arm at a group of shopping bags next to Addison's front closet. "He got a new phone and I'm the only one he's allowed to give his number to for awhile."

Addison grins. "I like it when you put imaginary leashes on him." Callie grins back. "It is fun."

"I can't put a leash on Derek. He always was independent," Meredith says, waving her glass. "Now I'm fucked up and in therapy. Who would have thought?"

"It's a good thing, Mer. What did Pete give you?" Callie asks, refilling her own glass and quietly ignoring Meredith's outstretched glass, winking at Addison.

"Some herb. St. John's Wort. I don't know why." Meredith rubs at her nose and sighs. "I'm tired."

"I am, too." Addison rises and Callie downs half her mojito in one. "Okay, I guess I am too. Mer, are you staying here?"

"No." Meredith gets unsteadily to her feet and Addison shakes her head. "She's not going anywhere. She can sleep in the spare bed and you can have my bed, Callie."

Callie raises her eyebrows, but says nothing. "Okay."

"I'm sleeping with you?" Meredith looks up at Addison and Addison supports her. "For tonight. No hotel would let you in like this, in this condition." Addison's drawl makes Meredith wrinkle up her nose. "You always think I'm drunk."

"You pretty much always are," Callie calls down the stairs, and Meredith sticks out her tongue. "Fine."

Addison steers Meredith up the stairs and she and Callie spend a silent three minutes fighting over who gets the bathroom. Finally, Callie steps back. "Take it, then."

Addison turns down the spare bed and replaces the trash can next to Meredith's side. She's not nearly as drunk tonight, but you can never be too sure. She slips into bed and closes her eyes.

When Meredith comes to bed, she's rubbing at her eyes again and Addison feels a stab of annoyance. "What's wrong, Grey?"

Meredith sinks into the pillows and whimpers a little. "I don't want to be this messed up."

Addison turns over to look at Meredith, whose tear-stained face seems to be something she's getting used to seeing. "Everyone's messed up, Meredith."

"I know. But I always thought I hid it well. It's hard for someone to psychoanalyze you and tell you that the person you love the most is damaging you."

Addison wraps her arms around Meredith and the tiny resident sinks into her body, spooning against her. "But sometimes you need to hear these things. Hence why I told you that I was a mess after Derek, too."

Meredith suddenly squirms out of Addison's arms and pouts. "Why is denial never an option?"

"Why is realization always the end result? I just don't know." Addison flips onto her back and sighs, and Meredith sighs, too.

"I just need someone who isn't going to screw me up," Meredith whispers, and Addison nods. "You do."

They're silent for long minutes, and Addison thinks Meredith has fallen asleep. She goes to turn onto her side and then feels Meredith's arms around her. "I'm glad you're here."

Addison rolls over and Meredith leans forward to kiss her. "Your lips are really soft," she whispers, and then laughs a little. Addison can taste alcohol on her lips, and pushes her away. "Don't, Meredith. You'll regret this."

"No, I won't. It's not like the other times."

"Really?" Addison's voice is skeptical, but she doesn't let go of Meredith.

"No. I promise."

It's short, and sweet, and Meredith is clumsy, but Addison lets her make the moves and at the end, they're both more satisfied than before.

"You promised me," Addison reminds Meredith, but the girl has fallen asleep. Never mind. There's always tomorrow.


	5. Chapter 5

The sun falls in warm stripes against the curtains, but as stylish as the draperies are, they're not thick enough or dark enough to block the light, and Addison wakes up feeling sticky between her thighs and tired behind her eyes. When she rolls over to look at the clock, it's just after 5:30 AM and she has no idea what's awakened her so damn early. When her ears finally clear and her eyes start working, she remembers. The snoring.

For such an incredibly little person, Meredith's snoring is just beyond anything imaginable. She's lying on her back, her mouth wide open, eyes fluttering with each loud, room-shaking exhalation. Addison groans and tries to gently flip Meredith onto her side, but the resident groans and with a particularly nasally snore, turns over to face Addison and wraps her arms tightly around the red-haired woman, sighing and cuddling close. Addison tries to move experimentally and finds that she can't. Great. This is just great, especially since she has to pee and she's no longer sleepy.

Gently disentangling herself from Meredith's arms (and feeling slightly disgusted by the whole thing), she gets up and heads for the bathroom, practically running smack into Callie, who is standing in the hallway, looking confused and rumpled, her hair sticking up in the back, her eyes slitted practically closed.

"Is that MEREDITH?" Callie peers past Addison into the spare room. "God, it woke me up and I'm not even in the same room!"

Addison groans. "I know." She goes to push past Callie to go into the bathroom, but Callie stops her. "Addison . . . this is the second night in a row that you've slept with her. What are you doing?"

Addison's bladder is aching, so she sighs in exasperation. "Can't we have this discussion after I pee? Please?" She pushes past Callie and shuts the door, leaning against it. God.

When she comes out, running a clean hand through her red hair, Callie is still leaning against the wall. Without another word, she grabs Addison's arm and hauls her down the stairs. The sound of Meredith's snoring fades away the closer they get to the kitchen.

"Seriously, Addie. What the hell?"

Addison starts the kettle going and pulls out two mugs from the cupboard above. "What do you mean? I'm not doing anything with her."

"Don't be evasive. I didn't bring her here for you to seduce her, okay?" Callie's voice is sharp and annoyed, and she slams down at Addison's kitchen island with vitriol. "I've seen what you're doing. You cuddle her, you clean up after her sloppy drunken nights, and you sit in on therapy with her. It's not like you're being discreet about this, Addison. Don't. Just don't."

Addison turns from the counter. "What are you talking about? Have you been listening at doors, Callie, or are you just jumping to conclusions, as usual? She's really fragile and neither you nor Mark is making the effort to look after her."

"She's a grown woman, Addison! And she can't take a fling in L.A. right now. She's hurting because Derek's been an absolute asshole to her. We go back to Seattle in five more days and if she leaves more hurt than she came, then she risked her job and her reputation with the Chief for nothing. She needed to get away to relax, not to get tangled up in another romance that she can't do anything about or control."

Addison sighs. "What makes you think this is a romance?"

"Well, you insist on sleeping in the same bed with her. You hold hands when you walk. I know you're attracted to her, in some weird way, and I think you're doing this to get back at me for Mark."

Now Addison's jaw drops. "WHAT?"

"Come on, Addie! You've made it perfectly obvious that it's killing you that I'm with Mark. I don't know if you're using Meredith as a distraction or you're doing it to divert some of the attention we're getting from your friends onto you, but either way, it's not working. You're going to hurt a perfectly nice girl because you're being selfish."

Addison's gobsmacked expression makes Callie's voice gentle a little. "I'm not saying it to hurt you, Addie. I'm warning you. She's so fucked up. Why would you fuck her up even more?"

Addison clears her throat and isn't surprised to find her voice shaky. "I'm not doing this. She's the one that's doing this. She takes the steps; I don't take the first ones."

"It doesn't matter who's doing it, Addison. You know her history and you know her way of dealing with things. If you care about her well-being, which I think you do, you need to end it with her. Let her heal and let her go back to Seattle, and forget about your needs and wants for once in your life!"

Callie gets up and goes to stomp out of the room, but a slight sob from Addison stops her and she turns back and gives Addison a rough hug. "Come on. You know I'm right," she murmurs into the red hair, and Addie nods against Callie's shoulder. "I know. And I'm sorry. I am jealous."

"I know you are. It's not been easy to have him flirt with me in front of you, but you've got to understand that he moved on. You gave him up, Addison. You moved away. He was willing to try with you until you pushed him away. And now he's chosen me, for whatever reasons he may have."

"I'm worried about you and him."

"No, you're worried because you don't want to lose him as a prospect, Addie. You know we're fine and you know that you're jealous, so just forget about it, okay?" Callie gives Addison an extra squeeze and smiles. "It gets easier day by day to deal with it," she says, and Addison remembers Izzie and George. "Oh man, sweetie. I have been such a horrible friend."

"You've been preoccupied and I surprised you. But," and Callie waves a finger, "don't keep this up with Meredith. And don't just cut her off, either. Explain to her why it won't work and then send her to a hotel."

Addison sighs. "I hate these types of chats."

"They're necessary. It'd be worse if you hurt her by cutting her off or sleeping with someone else when she thinks you're interested in her."

"True." 

Callie heads upstairs. "I'm sleeping in another two hours until it's time to go to Oceanside. Think about what I said."

"I will," – and Addison slumps down into the chair beside the island, feeling the tears behind her eyes out of humiliation. What a way to start the morning!

Meredith wakes up slowly, feeling warmth from the top of her head to the tips of her toes. She loves Addison's soft king-sized spare bed, with a feather-top mattress and Egyptian cotton sheets. Like yesterday, she sleepily reaches across for Addison, and then blinks when the woman isn't there.

If you asked Meredith, she couldn't tell you how she felt about the sex last night, or her attraction for her ex-boyfriend's ex-wife. Addison is tall, elegant, and beautiful; she has an innately-caring personality that makes Meredith, who unconsciously looks for people to take care of her, is attracted to. She knows it's moving too fast. She knows that she's falling hard, and that it's hard to ignore it. She wakes up and she wants to see Addison's blue eyes. It's not healthy, and she has an appointment with Violet today, and she doesn't know if she should mention it.

Meredith swings her legs out of bed and feels the familiar alcoholic headache strike her temples for the second day in a row. "Ow . . ." She stumbles towards the bathroom and runs into Callie, coming out of her room for the second time that morning. "Meredith, watch it," she snaps bad-temperedly, and Meredith raises her eyebrows. "Wow. Okay."

"Just get in and get out. We need to go in half an hour. I'm mad at Addison for not waking me up."

Callie's normally so easy-going that Meredith knows this can't be all, but she isn't in the mood to argue, so she steps into the bathroom. "Fine."

"Fine."

The ride to work is tense, and Addison won't look at Meredith, but simply taps her fingers on the steering wheel. Meredith looks good today – she's done her hair instead of letting it dry into its normal messy waves; she's wearing a purple blouse and a pair of skinny jeans, and she's even got a little makeup on. Addison is completely aware of how lovely the resident looks, but she shakes her head as if to clear it and pulls into the sunny parking lot of Oceanside, locking the doors of the car with a sharp beep and no other words.

Naomi meets them at the door. "Addison, I need you on a consult. Let's go," she says, not even saying hello to the other women or acknowledging them in any way. She pulls Addison by the arm and Meredith and Callie exchange a startled glance.

Mark comes up to Callie, from where he and Pete have been standing by Dell's desk. "Can't we get out of here?" he whines. "I'm so tired of watching co-op medicine. I'd rather spend the day staring at a liposuction machine. Let's go and sightsee."

"And what? Leave Meredith here with Addison?"

"She's a grown woman, Callie. This is boring. Let's go to the beach."

Callie, her eyes tired, suddenly just gives in. "Okay. Mer, we're going to the beach."

"Fine," says Meredith, spotting Violet coming down the hall. "I'm busy anyway."

Violet comes up to Meredith. "Are you ready for our session?" Meredith nods. "I think Addison is busy with Naomi today, though."

Violet nods quickly. "That's okay. I want to talk to you without someone sitting in on the session."

Meredith follows Violet into her office and watches as the petite brunette shuts the door. "Meredith, I realize now," says Violet, pausing as she takes her seat, "that it was a mistake to let Addison sit in on your session yesterday. I feel like you weren't able to actually tell me how you feel, and I feel that would be detrimental to your healing process. I've scheduled this session for today because of this, and I'm going to treat it as a preliminary session."

Meredith blinks. "It's fine, Violet. Addison was a big help yesterday."

"Yes, but she wasn't a neutral party, Meredith." Violet crosses her legs. "She was there as moral support, but she was also there to add a voice to your comments against Derek, and I want to hear how you really feel about him without the help of someone else."

Meredith sighs. "I don't want to talk about Derek."

Violet blinks. "You don't?"

"No. I want to talk about Addison."

"Addison?" Violet's confusion shows clearly on her face and she flips through her notes for a moment, trying to regain her confidence. "Okay . . . what about Addison?"

"We slept together last night."

Violet drops her pencil. "What?"

"She's been really good to me about this Derek thing, but I think there's something deeper." Meredith clears her throat. "I'm not good at this therapy thing."

"Sometimes, I'm not, either." Violet laughs and Meredith laughs with her, but then Violet looks confused again. "Have you and Addison always . . . I mean, I thought you were . . . I don't understand."

Meredith's heart goes out to the psychiatrist. "It's a relatively new thing. But I don't know what it means. And I don't know what to do about it."

Violet sighs. "Meredith . . . have you talked to Addison about this?"

"No. She was gone this morning and then Naomi pulled her away, and now I'm here with you."

"You need to talk to her about how you feel. And now, I want to discuss Derek."

Meredith sighs. "Fine. Where should I begin?"

Addison helps Naomi read tests on a fertility patient. "You could have done this yourself, you know."

"I know. That's not really why you're here."

"Wow, big surprise, Nae." Addison's voice is a little more sarcastic than normal and Naomi sighs. "I called you in here because I want to know what you're doing about Meredith."

Addison throws the tests down. "Why? Why does everyone want to know what I'm doing about Meredith? Why does it matter what I'm doing about Meredith?" Her voice has a slight note of hysteria and Naomi looks concerned. "Whoa."

Addison sighs a little shakily. "Well, I'm tired of the question."

"You have so many people asking you that question?"

"You and Callie. That's enough for one morning."

"I'm concerned about you, Addie." Naomi comes up and takes Addison's hand. "I don't think you need to be wrapped up in someone so obviously messed up. You're just starting to get back on your feet, out here. You still cry on rainy mornings. Clearly, you're not ready to take on something as emotive as Meredith Grey."

"Have you been reading charts again?"

"Yes." Naomi looks guilty. "But I only did it because I was concerned about you."

Addison leans forward to hug Nae. "And I love you for it. But don't worry. I'm ending it today."

"You are." Naomi's voice is matter-of-fact, but Addison senses the question. "Yes, I am. Callie's concerned it's going to mess her up more than she's already messed up."

"I'm concerned it's going to mess you up more than you're already messed up. You're kind of special to me, you know." Naomi gives her a punch on her shoulder and Addison grins. "You're kind of annoying to me."

"Right." Naomi strokes Addison's hair for a moment. "It's just not healthy. It's not a good idea."

"No."

"Okay."

Addison nods and goes to go out of the room, but her heart stabs a little. "Nae?"

"Do it."

"Okay."

Meredith and Addison meet outside of Addison's office, right across from the lunchroom. "Morning, Grey." Addison's voice is all business and Meredith frowns a little. "Hi, Addison. I really hope you don't want me to call you Dr. Montgomery."

"Actually, it might be best if you do, just in the office." Addison's face is impassive and Meredith is confused. "Look, I want to go for coffee. Is now a good time?"

Meredith is a little surprised; Addison is every inch the surgeon she was at Seattle Grace. It's a weird contrast to her stylish outfit, lack of white coat, and loose hair. "Now's fine."

They get on the elevator, ignoring Dell's curious stare, and ride it down to the bottom of the building. Addison orders two espressos and sits down at a table in the corner of the café. "Meredith . . ."

"I have something I want to say, too."

"Okay, go first." Addison is cringing with guilt, and Meredith's eyes are so bright this morning that she's almost ready to chicken out.

Meredith takes a deep breath, and blurts it all out, as she's wont to do. "I really like you, Addison. And maybe I'm silly, putting all this out there, but the past two days have been really, really fun, and I really loved that you were there for me, and last night was . . . well, wow, and I wanted to tell you how I felt and that I really . . . am having a good time here. And that you're really pretty. Especially when your hair is down like that in the light." Meredith grimaces, but shakes it off and gives Addison a hopeful smile.

Addison inwardly groans. "Well . . ."

"You don't have to say anything. I just wanted to tell you. Violet thought I should, and I haven't thought about Derek for awhile, well, except in therapy, and I really am attracted to you." Meredith's blather keeps going and Addison finally raises a hand. "Meredith."

The resident looks up and Addison winces. "I . . . don't think we should see each other any more. And I think you should check into a hotel tonight."

There, it's out. And Meredith's face has completely fallen.

Shit.


	6. Chapter 6

Meredith is speechless. She twirls her barely-touched coffee on the table and then looks up. "You know, I'm getting the idea that I didn't hear you right."

Addison sighs. "You heard me right. Meredith . . ." She goes to stretch a hand across the table, but then stops just before her fingertips touch Meredith's. "This isn't going to work. We live in different cities. You're doing this because you're hurting, and because this is the way you operate. I know that, and you know that. And I don't want to do this because you're upset or because you're drunk, or whatever silly reason. It's just not going to work."

Meredith bites her lower lip, feeling her face redden and the tears behind her eyes. "I . . . well, it wasn't . . . I just . . ." She feels her chin start to quiver and Addison shakes her head, even though her blue eyes melt a little in sympathy.

"Not here. Come on, Grey." Addison's words aren't helping. Meredith raises a napkin to her face and discreetly wipes at her eyes as Addison shoots a look around the café. "Come on."

They leave (Addison taking Meredith's coffee cup in case she wants it later) and get into the elevator. Addison leans up against the camera and avoids looking at Meredith. The petite resident turns into herself, bringing her hands up to her face to cover the redness and tears and mucus and whatever else. It's bad enough to cry in front of Addison, but Meredith does appreciate her discretion. The red-haired doctor keeps her eyes carefully away from Meredith until they get off at the Oceanside floor.

Unfortunately, everyone's in the hallway, waiting for the elevator. Naomi and Callie are chatting, rather politely (thinks Addison); Mark, Sam and Pete are laughing; Violet and Cooper are whispering, and Dell is standing at his desk, smiling hopefully every so often; trying not to look upset at the fact that he's not included in the doctor posse. As Meredith catches sight of the group at the elevator, her face flushes again and she turns her cheek away, trying not to let them see the tear stains.

No one really does; the guys are too busy talking about the latest pub they're going to hit up for lunch; Violet and Cooper are arguing about something (it sounds like lines from "Breakfast at Tiffany's" – seriously?) and only Callie and Naomi get a good look. Just before the elevator door closes on the group, Callie slips out. "I'll meet you guys there," she says.

No one says anything back, although Mark suddenly starts from his conversation and cranes his neck around the door. It closes, though, before he can get a good look at the situation and is already whooshing down on the conversation of the rest.

Callie knows what happened; even though Meredith's a prickly sort of thin girl who doesn't like to be really touched, she puts her arms around her and after a moment, Meredith turns into her. There's something about Callie that makes most people open up to her; she's just a very warm personality. Addison watches with an unreadable expression in her eyes.

"Did you suggest this?" gasps Meredith, realizing that no one is saying anything. Callie looks at Addison and then looks back down at the top of Meredith's head. Her hair is glinting in the overhead lights. A few feet away, Dell quietly ruffles papers and then chooses that moment to take some files to someone's office.

"Meredith . . . you know this isn't going to work. Why make it harder for yourself?"

And then it's clear: Meredith really isn't that upset strictly about Addison. She's upset about everyone doing this to her. "Well, what is it?" she suddenly snaps, pulling away from Callie. "Is it because I'm so fucked up that no one wants to deal with me? Is it because you're afraid of hurting me? Well, it hurts anyway. I don't think anyone can cut my soul in any more pieces. So don't worry about that." She wipes her eyes roughly.

Addison opens her mouth, and then closes it. "Meredith. What would this relationship have done for you?"

"Maybe I didn't want a relationship!"

"So you wanted just to fuck me?" Now Addison sounds hurt and Meredith lowers her eyes. "No. That's not completely true."

"I think that you were drunk" – Callie points at Meredith – "and you wanted to prove something to me" – she points at Addison – "and both of you are reaping what you've sown. Or something." Callie looks confused for a moment, and then frowns. "Meredith. We're leaving in two days. Falling for Addison would be ultimately a bad thing to do. Addison. We already talked about this."

Meredith wipes at her eyes. "Why am I so messed up?" she wonders, basically to no one. Addison puts a hand on her shoulder. "Take comfort in the fact that you're not the only one, Mer."

Meredith gives her a watery smile. "I really came out here to ask you about Derek, you know."

"Yeah. We never quite got to that."

"No." Meredith looks down at her feet. "I love him, you know. I just . . . can't be you."

"Why do you think he wants you to be me?" Addison's voice is gentle and Callie pipes up. "The same reason you wanted to be me with Mark. It's familiar and you've been there before."

"But he fell in love with me because I wasn't like you. No offence," she adds quickly, and Addison smiles, a little painfully.

"Derek is the type of person that needs routine in his life. He doesn't really know how to take steps that aren't in the natural progression. You know, dating, marriage, kids. From what I can tell," – and here, Addison is a little worried that this will counteract Violet's advice and step into the psychiatrist's territory – "he's confused by you. He doesn't really get the trust issue thing."

"Has Derek ever had anything bad happen to him in his life?" Meredith's voice is incredulous and Callie can't help laughing. "Sometimes, Mer, people actually go through life with minimal trauma. I promise, it happens."

Meredith giggles. "Am I that much of a psych case?"

"You're the ultimate psych case, Grey." Callie smiles back at her and Addison smiles, too. "You know his dad died?"

"Yeah."

"That's about it. Until I cheated on him," Addison winces, "he's really never had anything horrible happen. That he's let on to me, anyway."

"I don't know why he can't relate," Meredith grumbles. "I've been so understanding. I've been there every single time he needed me, for any reason. I begged him to choose me and he's just turned away every time. Now that I don't know what the hell is going on, he can't wait for me to figure it out. I just . . . it's got to be more than this. I've got to stop getting my heart squeezed."

"Well," says Callie stridently, "I think you know what you need to do. Dump his ass!" All three women laugh, but the corners of Meredith's mouth turn down, and despite herself, Addison puts an arm around her. "Meredith. We can't tell you what to do about Derek."

"I know." Meredith sighs and Callie pats her shoulder. "I think we should spend the rest of the day on the beach, you and I."

Meredith looks uncertain for a moment, then nods. "Yes. Beach time sounds great."

Addison grins and turns towards her office. "See you all later."

Addison and Meredith are sitting outside, on Addison's terrace, and both are slowly sipping martinis. Callie had begged off earlier – apparently, this time, she wanted to keep an eye on Mark at the bar. Addison had giggled. "That's probably a good idea."

"Well, I'm not going with him to choose another cell phone. Do you realize that it took like three hours to buy a freaking phone?"

"Dude. He's a plastic surgeon. That didn't give you the first clue that he might be a bit, well, choosy?" Addison laughs and Callie laughs with her. "He's a guy. Of course I didn't think he was gonna be that choosy."

"Surprise, surprise," Meredith had drawled, and then Callie had tipped them all a wide wink. "Plus, I didn't just come down here to visit you," she joked, poking Addison just below her collarbone. Addison yelped. "Ouch!"

"Baby." Callie stuck her tongue out and Mark came up. "Stop fighting, you girls. Or, you know, keep fighting."

"Shut up, Mark," said the three of them, and he grinned widely. "No McSteamy smile!" Meredith had barked and Callie tugged his arm. "You're going to flirt with me, and just me, all night. Got it?"

"Yes, ma'am!" Mark saluted and they got into a taxi, still bantering.

That had been three hours ago. Now, the waves are lapping gently at the beach and Addison is staring dreamily up into the stars, just enjoying the sound. Meredith fiddles with her glass.

"What was it really?"

"What, Grey?" Addison is a little annoyed at the interruption and moves her eyes tiredly over to rest on Meredith.

"I mean, the relationship. The . . . whatever it was between us."

"The drunken sex and kissing?"

"Yeah. You know what I'm talking about."

Addison moves uncomfortably in her chair. "Meredith . . ."

"Okay, so it meant nothing to you. Fine."

"It didn't mean 'nothing' to me," says Addison, sounding even more annoyed. She sits up a little more and fixes Meredith with her blue gaze. "I just don't think it meant the same to me as it did to you."

"I don't really know why I did it," says Meredith thoughtfully. "It was sort of . . . I don't know, like trying something new. This is a new place. I felt sort of like I should be a new me, or whatever."

"No, I get that." Addison turns her gaze back to the sea. "I get wanting to change yourself. I just think that . . . and this is me, too – that maybe us sleeping together wasn't really the best idea. I shouldn't have given in."

"But why did you?"

"Because." Addison smiles a little. "Because you're beautiful and sweet and vulnerable, and because it seemed like the natural progression of things at the time."

"You're big on natural progression?"

"Not really. I'm big on going with the flow, these days." Addison closes her eyes.

"I can understand that." Silence falls and the sound of the waves is soothing. Several moments pass and Meredith wonders if Addison's fallen asleep.

Then, "I have an attraction to you, Meredith. I just don't want to start a relationship with you; not to replace Derek, and not because you're hurt. And to let you think that would be wrong."

"Yeah." Meredith says nothing else, but she feels Addison's warm hand on her own and she smiles. "Well, you're right. It was best to break it off when you did."

"Yeah."

The wind picks up then and Addison gets up. "Come on. It's getting late."

"Where's the hotel?"

"Fuck the hotel. You can sleep in my bed. I'll sleep on the sofa downstairs."

"I don't think Callie's coming back home tonight."

Addison laughs. "Then I'll take her bed."

"Okay."

They go inside and Meredith pauses at the door. "This place really gets into you, huh?"

"It's kind of like that. It's the heat and the sea and the wind."

"I guess so."

Addison leans over and kisses Meredith's cheek. "It wasn't ever because I didn't have feelings for you."

"I know that. I know why."

"As long as you know why."

The scene at the airport is similar to when Addison picked them up; except this time, the Oceanside gang has come along.

"A week is just not long enough," muses Violet. "I think you guys should seriously consider staying longer."

"Nah. The Chief's already gonna have her head," says Callie, jerking a thumb at Meredith. "And I miss daily surgery."

"And not being under scrutiny from a lot of women," says Mark, shifting uncomfortably. "Wait – what am I saying? I'm always under the scrutiny of women."

"Oh, please." Addison leans forward to give Callie a hug. "I miss you a lot."

"I think next time you better come up and see me."

"Okay, done." The two women smile at each other and Callie kisses Addison's soft cheek. "Take care, Addie."

Mark kisses Addison's other cheek. "It was really good to see you, Addison." This time, his voice isn't sarcastic, and Addison smiles. "It was good to see you, too."

Meredith hangs back until Naomi notices her on the edge of the group. "It was nice to meet someone else from the hospital. I hope you found what you were looking for."

Meredith shrugs. "The sunshine was enough." She exchanges a conspiratorial smile with Addison and then picks up her luggage. "I miss surgery, too."

They cluster at the gate as the three Seattle-dwelling doctors board the plane and wave. Addison sighs. "You know, in a way, I'm glad I'm not still there."

"Only because you'd miss your perma-tan?" Dell teases, and Addison smiles. "No. It's less complicated here."

"We like to stay laid-back," says Cooper, and Violet pinches him. "Right, laid-back L.A. That's why half the city sees shrinks."

"Whatever. I like it here." Addison turns back from the gate. "Even though you're all annoying."

"Hey!" Everyone cries out and Addison smiles. "Kidding!"

When the plane touches down in Seattle, Meredith feels the familiar grey curtain of rain drape over her and smiles. "I never thought that so much sunshine would get to me."

"Well, I certainly didn't miss this," grumbles Mark, regretfully stowing his Ray-Bans in his leather jacket's pocket. Callie pokes him. "No bitching."

Meredith drives home by herself and isn't surprised to see the house lit up like a Christmas tree when she pulls into the driveway. She's tired, but she's in the mood for some company, and the lights make her smile.

In a way, she's prepared for Derek sitting on the swing on the front porch; she's prepared for his carefully-controlled smile, but she's not in the mood to talk. She considers walking right past him, but she stops and faces him square. "Hey."

"Hey. Um, just a thought – maybe next time you're going to take a vacation, you could, you know, tell me or something? So I don't worry?"

"You don't own me, Derek. If I want to take off, I will." Meredith suddenly shakes her head. "I don't want to do this." She goes to walk in the house, but he sighs. "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"For a lot of things. I don't know." He looks up at her. "What's it gonna take to fix all this?"

Meredith shrugs. "I don't know, Derek. I don't know if I want to try, anymore."

"Where'd you go, anyway?"

"L.A. But I'm sure you figured that out from asking the Chief."

"Yeah. Why?"

She smiles suddenly; her face transforms and her eyes sparkle. "Why not?"

With that, Meredith steps across the threshold and closes the door.

Fin


End file.
